20 years – And a Lifetime More to Live

I cannot believe that I am 20 years old today. It is not hard to believe that I have been around that long, but it is hard for me to believe because when I think about where I am now and the life that I had always pictured myself living at this age are so very different. I had always thought that by the age of 20 I would:

-Be married

-possibly have a kid

– pretty much have my life together

Where I am now is a far cry from the life that I imagined that I would live, but I know that where I am, is exactly where I should be. God has so much more to work in me before I become a wife and a mother – and let’s face it, I’m never going to have my life completely together, and I don’t believe any of us will.

I have taken today to reflect on my 20 years of life and what God has brought me from and what He has made of me, and what He wants to do in me. I’ve been thinking of the promises that He has given me…the promise that said that He would satisfy my years (a promise I was given a few years back, but did not really begin to understand until now.), the promise that He would make me as a light to the nations, the promise that he would speak through me and give me words to say, the promise that He is faithful. And looking back on those promises, I see all the more that – His plans for my life are so much better than the ones that I could ever dream of!

I am still watching for that man that I have been praying for all these years, but I know that He will come in God’s perfect timing. I’m so content to just be dancing with daddy. (I’m talking about my heavenly daddy as well as my earthly daddy). A few weeks ago at the Next Revolution Conference Pastor Patrick Schatzline was speaking and wow, did he bring a powerful word! During the altar call, he called up those who did not have a good relationship with their father, or who did not know their father, or those who had been hurt by their father. There were so many that responded to that call and I found my heart completely broken for them. He then asked of the girls, how many of them had ever had the chance to dance with their dad – so few had.

I stood there watching – completely broken for these girls who had not known that love from their father.

I thought about my own daddy. I remember dancing with my daddy as a little girl and even not too long ago. I have absolutely no doubts about how much my daddy loves me. He means the world to me. And I know that because of the way that my earthly father has loved me, I have, all the more a picture of how my heavenly Father loves me. My relationship with God is what it is because my Dad has shown me how a Father loves His child.

After getting out of the conference that night, the first thing that I did was message my dad and thank Him for being the blessing of a Father that He is and for loving me the way that He always has. I have so many wonderful memories of my dad and He is so much a reason that I am who I am today. Even at 20, I’m loving me dancing with my daddy.

In the same way, I am the woman that I am today because of the influence that my mother has had in my life. If I were to pick one thing out about my mother that I admire it would be her strength. I recognize that things haven’t always been easy, but she has always pushed through. Momma isn’t one to avoid what is hard – she takes it head-on with a strength that I want to have as well.

Momma has taught me so much over the years, and I know that I still have so much more to learn from her. At this season in my life, she has come to be more than just a mother to me, but a friend as well. Yes, she will always be my mother, and always treat me as a daughter. But as I’ve grown, I have realized the difference between relationships with Fathers and relationships with Mothers. No matter what, in your relationship with your father, you’ll always be his little girl and that will never change. Inasmuch as this is the same with mothers, when you grow, she becomes your friend too. It becomes more than mother/daughter – it becomes woman to woman.

I cannot even think about where I am right now without thinking about how blessed I truly am. I have the most amazing family, church family, friends, and school! God has blessed me so much more than I ever pictured. I daresay I’ve lived a blessed life thus far and I know that I still have a lifetime more to live! Seeing where God has brought me these 20 years, I cannot wait to see what He will do in the next 20! I am calling on the promise that He has given me that He will satisfy my years. 

My life may not be what I had imagined it would be by this time, but it is so beautiful how God is orchestrating it! Each day He does a new work in me. Each day I see a whole new part of who He is. With each day that passes, I am all the more sure that this life I am living is the one that I am meant to live. God has planted some new dreams in my heart and in due time they will flourish!

My journey in these 20 years has been so beautiful and I cannot wait to see what God does in the next 20 years. He has planted new dreams in my heart and with them a desire to do and to be more than I ever have before. I am calling on His promise that He will satisfy my years and I pray that He will be glorified with every breath that I breathe and that my life will be a fragrant offering unto Him.

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. leeleegirl4
    Dec 06, 2011 @ 06:54:13

    I thought my life would be all put together by the time I was twenty. When that didn’t work, I thought maybe when college was over. Then I set the goal of twenty-five. Then I realized that perfection would leave no room for God and that would be tragic.

    You are an amazing young lady of faith. Keep it up.


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