21 Days of Never-the-Same – Day 8

Of all the things I am constantly learning, one of them is that busyness does not always mean effectiveness. I can do a whole lot of things and all of them good, but does that mean that I am being who I am meant to be right here and now.

A wonderful missionary friend said this, “It is not the bad things in life that keep us from the best of God. It is the good things in life that keep us from God’s best.”

So while I may be keeping busy and doing great things “for God” and for the advancement of His kingdom, essentially I am ineffective because I’m not operating in the places that God has called me to. Or I can be doing so many things that leave me unable to focus and put the time and energy into where I a really meant to be. Something will suffer.

Dr. Juli Slattery, a speaker at True Woman 2012 said this:

“If Satan can’t have our souls, he is perfectly content at keeping us useless.”


Without God, that is what our work is.

I’m ever learning to not get distracted by the little things, but keep focus on where God’s heart is at in the moment, at this very time, for here and for now. Distractions can come in “good” packages.

Don’t let the good things [that can at times be ploys of Satan to distract you from your true purpose] in life keep you from God’s best.

No Shades of Grey


This is a post that has been on my heart long before 50 Shades of Gray was even published. In the midst of it’s ever-increasing popularity rate, which I find to be quite alarming in Christian circles especially, I figured that there is no better time like the present to share these thoughts that have been stirring in me for quite some time now.


I see a lot of that these days. I would be lying if I said I haven’t done it myself. We know the difference between what is right and what is wrong. A very good friend of mine pointed out to me at one point:

Sometimes we may not know what the right is, but we always know what is wrong.

I have tested this and found it to be very true. As Christians, we should be living our lives with a higher standard. We compromise so much and more often than we think. These days it is hard to find a TV show or a movie to see that we don’t have to compromise in some ways. Maybe there is just a few choice words but the rest of the movie is perfectly fine. Maybe there is a scene or two that is inappropriate but other than that it is OK.

As soon as we place those “buts” in there we find ourselves in the gray area of compromise.

You are called to a higher standard.

A common and well-known passage of scripture that displays what should be our standard is found in Philippians 4:8:

“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthymeditate on these things.” (NKJV) (emphasis mine)

Would 50 Shades be able to hold to this standard?

Would that movie you have been wanting to see hold to this standard?

How about that song that you “just like the beat” to?

Would your life choices hold to this standard?

As a godly lady-in-waiting you must hold to a higher standard than the world offers and step out of the gray area of compromise. Titus 2:7 says this:

“in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility…”

Continuing into verses 11-13 we read:

“11 For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, 12 teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age, 13 looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ”

I urge you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called – a young woman of God. We are not meant to live by the standards of this world, but by the truth given to us. We are called to live a life of purity.

So next time you go to pick up that book, watch that show/movie or listen to that song, check your standards:

Is it:

  • True?
  • Noble?
  • Just?
  • Pure?
  • of good report?
  • virtuous?
  • praiseworthy?

Our influence is destroyed by compromise. Our compromise can also cause others to stumble. What are some gray areas in your life that you need to step out of?

I’m open to discussion:

  1. What are your thoughts on compromise and those little gray areas we end up in?
  2. Do you find to be true that you do not always know what is right, but you always know what is wrong? Explain.


Brittany L. Ketter

The Heart of the Matter – Guarding Your Heart

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the well-spring of life.” Proverbs 4:23

I am sure by now you are familiar with that verse, or at least have heard the phrase, “guard your heart.” Have you ever stopped to really grasp what that means?

It is not all about love, but it applies to every aspect of our lives. In order for us to guard our hearts, we need to know what we are guarding it from. You are guarding yourself from sin, lies, gossip, and anything that compromises the Word of God. It could be movies or TV shows you watch, music that you listen to, books you read, or friends that you hang out with. It could be your relationships. Take a look deeper and see. Pray that God reveals to you areas where you specifically need to guard your heart.

These areas are crucial to your spiritual being. The Word says that your heart is “the well-spring of life.” Going back to the Hebrew language, we find that “guard” means to preserve, guard from danger, and to be blockaded. Your heart is so much more than you may initially think. You heart that it is referring to is “in your mind, will, understanding, inner part, knowledge, thinking, reflection, memory, inclination, resolution, determination (of will), conscience, as seat of appeals, as seat of emotions and passions. The “wellspring” is the source. Your heart is your source of life. Whatever you fill your heart with is what is going to flow from it – it can be life or it can be death. Any impurities that you allow into your heart when you put your guard down are polluting your life and have the potential to kill your spiritual being!

In the world today it can be so hard to guard your heart. When you are out there you are constantly bombarded with impurity and sin. Guarding your heart can be a challenge. But it is possible!

Take a moment and think about it. What are some things that you need to guard your heart from better?

For All of you Single Girls Out There…

I admit, lately I’ve been thinking about that special guy that God has for me, and honestly – I miss him. Be honest girls, how many of you are home on a Friday night doing nothing while all of your friends are out on a date with their boyfriends? Or maybe your best friend has been hanging out with a guy and you feel neglected – feeling the pain? We all know the feeling.
I’ve set my standards, and I’ve set them high. I know what I want in a guy. I haven’t dated. I’ve made up my mind before that I would not date until:

1. Senior Year (at earliest)
2. I knew the guy who fit my list.

Well, here I am at senior year – boyfriend? No. And that’s cool. I’ve found my season of singleness to be my time for growing and my time for going deeper in my relationship with God. I wouldn’t trade this season for anything God is so good!
However, recently, I find myself thinking more and more about “him.” Who is he? When will God bring him in? How? Will I know right away? I have all of these questions, and yet no answers to be found. The only thing I know is that, 1) God has this all in His hands, and 2) I desire this companionship greatly.

I want someone to love, and to love me, but more-so, I want that person to be who God has for me. You won’t see me rushing in on the dating scene. In fact, I’m a bit more into courtship. And, I find that I really am impressed by the guys who first asked the father’s permission to take out his daughter, before they even ask the girl. It shows maturity and respect.

I can picture my own daughter someday, and I can tell you I would not be thrilled or very pleased at all if some guy just came to our door and picked her up to take her out, without first coming to me or my husband. No. I don’t believe I’d be please, and I don’t believe my daughter would be going out with him that night… (and possibly any night. We’ll see.)

I believe there is a special bond between Dad’s and daughters. I look up to my dad, and I admire him greatly. He’s always been my hero. I rarely find something I enjoy more than a night with my dad. I love being with him. Just me and him – even just driving to the store, or watching the game – I can never get enough of the one-on-one daddy-daughter time. The more I’m with him, the more I see in him that I would want in a husband someday. Some of these big things in my dad are commitment, strength and purpose. His commitment to this family is so apparent. Fathering 5 kids, (3 of them being teenagers, YIKES!) he works hard and long hours every day to support his family. And afterwards, you will find him working on things that need done around the house. He doesn’t work for the fun of it. He doesn’t work just for the money. He doesn’t work to give himself a good name. But he does it for us – to support his family. He does it to the best of his ability, and I admire that quality in my dad – his commitment. Strength and purpose fit into that also. My dad is a family man – strength I see is how he handles his household. He is firm and loving and always makes a point when things aren’t running the way they should be. He heads our household well. His purpose – I see in his stance. Whether he’s in his suit going to work, or in his old worn jeans and t-shirt working outside or fixing cars or doing yard work. My dad is a man of purpose, and his purpose is that of one he knows full well of – the position God has placed him in as the head of this family.

I didn’t just dream this entire up. I had to be taught to see it. But I cannot recall a time ever where my dad wasn’t there for me. Dads are special. And I believe that the Father-daughter relationship is too. There is just a bond there, seemingly from the beginning – my dad’s the reason I’ve gone through most of my teen years without “needing” a guy. I didn’t “need” a boyfriend like some of my friends and many teens my age did. I’d much rather have a day with my dad. As I’ve grown older though, that’s not changed, but I’m starting more to want to find the one that God has for me. I love the relationship I have with my dad, and I don’t ever want it to change – he fills a place in my heart where only a guy could, where only he could. But he’s taught me what I want. I want a man like him.

In a way, I see my mother has taught me that too. She’s taught me to look deeply, see the invisible, and feel the gentlest touches. She taught me to see the world, and she obviously taught me to find a good man (Daddy is exhibit A! ) My mom has also taught me what kind of woman I want to be. She’s raised me right. (Or I think my parents have done a pretty good job, anyway. I mean between the two of them – I turned out pretty awesome, if I do say so myself! – Quite humble too! :P) My mom showed me the kind of woman I want to be. I want to be like she is – a woman of strength and virtue, whose priorities are in line; A woman who watches over her house, and brings up her children in the Lord; A woman who is wise and carries herself with dignity; A woman who is led by the Lord, and who teaches her children to rely on Him.

My mother taught me to work, cook, clean, read, write and all the typical stuff, but by example, she’s taught me the qualities of a godly woman, wife and mother, and I’m proud to be her daughter.

Now girls, stick with me. I’m not as off topic as you might think – remember that longing feeling I was talking about before? The want I have for that companionship and love? My journey with God these last few months- he’s brought me to a place of wholeness – but even so, I still don’t’ feel complete. It’s like I’m missing something – I’m missing him. There is such a mystery about that – only the Lord knows. I was talking with a friend about that, and she mentioned to me how in Genesis, “Adam – even after all the animals, no suitable companion was found. Then God created Eve.” She told me we were born this way – with a longing to have that companion. I chewed on this for a moment, and then it struck me!

Eve was made from a rib of Adam. (Genesis 2:22) There is not something missing in me – I AM the missing piece!

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24 NIV

Girls – we are the missing piece. When God made Eve – He made her from a piece of Adam. They were one. The same will before us. God has that special guy out there for you, and someday you will be one. I’m waiting on God, and in the end, I know I’ll be amazingly happy with this choice-because if we’re the missing piece to these guys, girls we don’t want to break ourselves out in the dating scene. Dating just to date, or having a boyfriend just to have a boyfriend or to try to fill that space inside of you or to take away the loneliness you feel for love. Wait on God, because he knows that guy who is missing you. He created them just for you. You’re His missing piece. Preserve yourselves girls. I know it’s hard, especially at this age to be waiting and not going out or getting into these kind of relationships, but you will be so happy later and see how it was so worth the wait.

When I’ve been praying about this wanting in me, I just keep hearing God telling me, “wait.”

Girls, the time will come. The wait will be worth it – but for now, embrace this season of singleness. Let God be your heart’s desire. Get into His word, grow in Him. Listen for His voice and let Him teach you.
Also, your relationship with your parents is important. (God id after all entrust you into their care to raise you up in him) God doesn’t make mistakes. Bloom where you’re planted. You need God’s light to grow, you need times of rain. Sometimes He’ll shade you with his wing. You are where you are for a reason. Make the most of it. Be who you are. Give everything your all. Follow God, learn from your parents, and keep yourself pure. Waiting will be worth it. I guarantee you it will be.

Thinking now, I can’t wait for whoever God has for me to come into the picture, but I will wait patiently, pursue God, and continue to learn. If I’m this guy’s missing piece, I want to be whole myself, and that means surrendering everything in me – even this desire to God. I’ve learned surrendering is a process – not a moment. It’s a daily choice – a daily act.

So, for all of you single girls out there, thanks for reading, and I hope you got something from this. You’re the missing piece. I’m sure you’re going to want the rest of the puzzle to be put together when he comes along, so I encourage you to keep yourself together. Embrace your singleness as an opportunity to work on your relationship with God. Let Him be your everything. Give Him your heart. I know He won’t give it to someone who will break it. He knows who He has for you, trust Him Give your all to Him. You’re the missing piece – but He knows to which puzzle. Just wait until you see the whole picture. That guy that you have your eye on, (come on girls, you can’t say “what guy” you know we all have them,) give him to God. I’ve found the more you focus on God, the more you see from His view.

Giving that up is hard I know. Just keep praying. I pray for my future husband every day. I pray that God will keep him pure and that he will be strong in the Lord and that he’ll be safe where he is. I pray that anything that he may be going through, that God would meet him where he’s at and be there with him. I’ve found in praying for other people, it brings you closer together. In praying for my future husband, even though I may not know him, I believe that God will work something in that.
And you know when a guy comes along, pray about him, and trust your parents’ judgment. Talk to them about it. Don’t toss your other relationships aside just because a new season is in view. You ultimately want God to be your # 1 Priority. As for your parents, they are important too –having a good relationship with them will be of help for you. They’ve been through this before – it’s not so different now as you think. Take some wisdom from them. They know what they are talking about them. If you’re open to receive, you’ll be surprised what you can learn.

So girls, pray and seek God. Work on your relationships with your parents. God put them over you for a reason – learn from them. Keep waiting – God knows exactly what He’s doing. Take this time to grow in Him, and to hang out with your friends. Enjoy this season of life as you wait for the next to come. Something worth it, is something worth waiting for, right? You’re the missing piece to the puzzle. God knows the puzzle, give him all the pieces so He can make it complete.
Love you all so much! Thanks for reading.

Brittany L. Ketter ( 1 peter 3:4)

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